The Gink

Benny has one word that describes all that he loves most dear:

"Gink."

For Binki, Blankie, and Drink.

Homemade Liquid Laundry Detergent

I have a few friends who have asked me for this laundry soap recipe...so here it is!

Ingredients:
4 C Hot Tap Water
1 Fels-Naptha Soap Bar
1 C Arm and Hammer laundry soda
1/2 C Borax

Grate bar of soap and add to a saucepan with water. Stir continuously over medium-low heat, until soap dissolves and is melted.

Fill a 5 gallon bucket half full with very hot tap water. Add melted mixture, Arm and Hammer soda, and borax. Stir well until powder is dissolved. Fill bucket to top with more hot water. Stir, cover, and let sit overnight.

Once soap has cooled, you may add 10-15 drops essential oil per every 2 gallons, if desired for scent.

Amount to use:
Top loading machine: 5/8 C per load
High Efficiency Washer: 1/4 C per load (makes 400 loads!)

Luv Me Some Naugles

My sister-in-law Amy got married to Sam a couple of weeks ago! They are certainly in love, and certainly happy. I loved the event. God bless. I love me some Naugles..

louis' patent picture scowl.
little warmer...

did it!

Reusable Lunch Trays

The elementary school my children will go to, has applied for a grant from Pepsi for the purchase of reusable lunchtrays, utensils, bowls, plates, and a new dishwasher.

Please Vote For Us!

http://www.refresheverything.com/lunchtrays

Jelly Bean Thief

While I made pancakes this morning, I noticed my house get extremely quiet.
It was around 8 a.m.
I stopped, searched the house, searched the yard, and discovered my oldest boys (ages 5 and 3) where missing.
Nowhere to be found.
I trekked up the street. "Lou! DJ!" "Lou!... DJ!"
Finally, about 4 houses up, I spot them standing inside my neighbor's front door.
Lou- pajama pants and t-shirt, rubber batman boots, spiderman baseball hat, holding one of those old-fashioned wooden "pop-guns."
DJ- barefoot. Pajamas, with a batman cape velcroed around his neck, plastic hanger in hand.

Relief. And "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" ..."You know you have to tell me where you are going before you go somewhere!" "Plus, it is 8 in the morning! And you can't just walk into someone's house!"

"That's okay mom," (Louis) "they were just eating breakfast."

"What were you doing?"

"We were investigating who stole our jelly beans!"

I come to find now, they had successfully stopped at every house from here to there (around 8 houses)....looking for the thief.
(Whom happened to be B and I...having midnight snack.)

Em

We had a big family hoopla this weekend.
So happy to see my cousin Emily.

I loved the gathering.

MYO!

I am going back to school!
I am getting my Message Therapy License, and plan to certify in Cranial-Sacral.
CAN'T WAIT.

Father's Day Part II

(pictures of dad and louis)

This is my dad.

Before Grandma died, she told me that he "would give the shirt off his back to someone who needed it. Even if he didn't have another."
That is my dad.
My dad has kind and gentle hands.
My children love him, because he plays their games....For as long as they want.
(He played with Benny at the pool this week. They poured buckets of water back and forth, for 40 minutes straight.)
He pulls starbursts out of my kids ears. He covers every leftover with tinfoil. He supports every 7 year old, lemonade-selling entrepreneur. He loves his mom...And frequently visited her, to play a good game of Rook. He loves his dad. And frequently visits his grave to feel closer to him. Someday, when he is gone, I will miss my "dad gifts:" Like matchboxes from the hotel he stayed at last, or sunset texts from his long, work drives.

I have a good dad.
I love him.

Father's Day Part I

While I was pregnant with Benny, Brandon took the boys to the zoo.
This monkey was B's favorite exhibit.
He described it, something like this: "We came up to this big, ratty monkey. It was alone, perched on the limb. It had a big bald spot on the top of it's head...and the rest of the hairs were sticking up all over." When he read the plaque description, he realized that the reason being, was that the male monkeys in that species, were in charge of carrying their babies on their heads. They were so diligent in their task, it wore off their fur. He felt a little sentimental about it. And I know, it is because he can relate to that kind of caring, diligent loyalty.

Happy Father's Day B.

B's first picture in fatherhood. Brandon and Lou.

Brandon and DJ.

Brandon and Benny.

And some of my favorites...

The Big Horn Sheep

The other day, my brother, (whom lives in our basement) came out in the morning to go to work...

And saw a Big Horn Sheep in our backyard!

I was surprised. Especially, as from what I understand, it is an Endangered Species.

Although deer are a frequent appearance here, a Big Horn Sheep seems to be as familiar to me as a picture spread in a National Geographic.

It has provoked me to think about this animal.

This animal not only live on rocky ridges, and cliff ledges, they can scale the slippery, sharp, jagged rocks. Today, human beings use a system of latches, ropes, and pulleys to do what this animal can with HOOVES. I recall an IMAX film I saw once, of a helicopter view of the top of a rigid, snowy mountain. Along the highest, most jagged point, a Big Horn Sheep made it's way.

The hooves are hard on the outside, and soft and gripping on the inside. When they have a threat (and it is usually over a mate), they face it head on. (Sometimes running at full speed of up to 30 mile/hour.) Their thick skulls protect them. Their horns defend them.


Ancient Indian's believed that animals brought meaning into their lives. That the characteristics of that animal could teach you something that would help you out in your own journey.

In Indian totems the appearance of a Big Horn Sheep represents this:

"Bighorn sheep’s message is that of new beginnings. If you have this animal for your power ally, have confidence in your powers to land safely on your feet, in most circumstances. The spiral horn symbolizes your creativity, energy, and endurance. You can initiate new projects and have the strength to complete them. Defend your territory and test your strength, but do not lock horns just to prove your point. Think before you act. Stay in balance with your environment by hiking ,walking, or climbing. Take a class to expand your mind and use your imagination to reach new heights of achievement. Seek new opportunities in your work and relationship areas. Now is a good time to make changes . You can accomplish a lot if you are prepared. "

I like it.
And I'll take it.

The Chicken or the Egg

Recently we cared for our neighbors chickens.
Lou wanted so badly to keep the eggs and
watch them "turn into chicks."
I explained how it works, but he seemed
determined to "take care of them." (like shuttling them around in the back of a grass-filled, toy dump truck, while chatting with the little embryos...)

A few minutes later, I spotted him making a "nest" in the sandbox.
Turn around....and SIT.

To his surprise!

First Words

My children's official
FIRST WORDS:

Louis- "light"
DJ- "pi-der" (spider)
Benny- "tee" (tree)

The Good Ol' Days

I found these old family pictures this week of my mother, older brother, and I.

A Lover. And a Mother.

A couple of years ago we tried to into change life insurance policies. To our surprise, after the routine blood work exam, we were denied.
Denied!? It was quite a shock.

The denial was based on Brandon's "high liver enzymes."
High liver enzymes?

What does that mean?

It meant that his liver was sick. And after further tests, that he had a condition called NASH.

For months, I fret, grieved, worried, and searched for a little solace that the largest major organ in my 28-year old husband's body was not 'working right.' Growing up with a mother with chronic health problems, and being employed in the hospice field - did not ease my tension, or image of a possible future.
We are young. We are parents. We are together. And I didn't want to loose any of that earlier than - well, living a "great" life, raising our family together, and then dying months apart in old age. The Doxey, Romanticist's happily ever after.

The cure? Change of lifestyle.
Comforting, and, as a spectator, difficult.
"Lifestyles" don't permanently change overnight.

And even as great as he was doing, my impatience in hovering in the RED ZONE often got the best of me. Mostly (I hope, hon) in my mind. And fears.
All of the sudden, any of his "un"-changing lifestyle choices put sharp pressure on my already tense heart. And conflict in my worried mind.

That is when I realized.
I am your Lover.
Me.
That is it.
And that,
Is the most important thing,
I want you to know me as.
There are a million other people who can do a million other things for you.

But, I am-
Your Lover.

Not your Dietitian.
Not your Spiritual Leader.
Not your Physician.
Not your Teacher.
Not your Answer.
Not your Calendar.
Not your Therapist.
Not your Expert.
Not your Savior.
Of course, if you need that from me, and I have it to give-
it's yours.

But if it fights for the top.
It has to go.

Lovers love.
And I have the privilege
To be yours.

**********************************************************

I am having had a similar epiphany as my role as a mother.

One of my son's learned how to ride a bike.
And graduated from preschool.
All in one week.

And he is off. With a new freedom, and a new independence.
Uncharted mothering territory for me.

As mothers, we naturally incur many roles for our kids.

We are their Dietitians.
We are their Sleep Authority. (Who knew this doesn't come natural?)
We are their Teachers.
We are their Calendar.
We are their Answer.
We are their Physician.
We are their Therapist.
We are their and Spiritual Leader.
We are their Educational Instructor.
We are their Expert.
We may even try to be their Savior.

At least for a little while, and to some degree.
It naturally happens like that.
Whether we want all these roles, or are ready, they are ours.
It is great, validating, and scary.
So I spend a lot of time learning "how to be a mom."
Or in other words, (according to above roles), "how to be their_______."

Their future, healthy independence depends on it.
I've thought.

But I have a conflict.
Sometimes my efforts come at a price.
The price of loosing love.

And now,
Just as before-
I realize.

I am Your Mother.
Me.
That's it.
And that is the most important thing
I want you to know me as.
More than your Dietitian.
More than your Sleep Authority.
More than your Teacher.
More than your Calendar.
More than your Spiritual Leader
More than your Therapist.
More than your Educational Instructor.
More than your Expert.

There are plentry of people who can give you plenty of other things.

But I am-
Your Mother.
All my sacrifice, work,
and thought,
I give
Will be for naught,
If it is at the cost of my Love.

So I have determined.
Everything to do is,
Inescapable, real, and great-
But,
The greatest thing, I wish to be to my boys.
Is
Love.

So much harder to do then say, write,
or wrap in a bow.
But the greatest desire of my heart.

A Mothers Love.