#2. Brandon.

the best person i know. my love.

#1. Bed.

I am grateful for my bed.
Brandon and I joke that all the best things in life happen in bed.
But, it's no joke.
And not just for the obvious....

the power of thanks

I believe in gratitude.
There is something to it.
That is powerful.
A love precursor.

This is my favorite holiday.
Thanksgiving.
One that means something.
And will continue to be-
Without a purchase or a party.

It's all from the heart.

And I've decided to celebrate this year by acknowledging my gratitude.
For the things I can't live without.
The things aren't mine.
The things that are important to me.
The things I have forgotten.
The things that I love.

One a day.
Happy thanksgiving!

Plum Trees and Urinary Tract Infections

I learned a lesson this week,
From our plum tree and my kidneys.

Water is important.
Very, very important.

And if we don't get enough of it,
We won't bear even close to the amount of fruit we are capable of-
Even if that fruit is a gorgeous batch of urine
That can make you feel crummy if you can't let it go.

I have a weathered, old plum tree in my backyard.
We have been told it only has a few years left.
It has many healed-over scars where decaying branches have been removed.
Many of the existing branches are gnarled, brittle, and dry.
There is a good chance, that for it's entire life-
It has not received the proper amount of water.
(Certainly not by us-)
That would make it flourish in ease.
And yet, as long as we have lived here,
It has produced bushels of fruit.

It is a good tree.

And yet, because of it's appearance, and the opinion
Of our local tree pruner on it's life expectancy,
I felt justified not watering it this summer.
Maybe only just a handful of times.

And, guess what? It still produced fruit...
But, not a fraction of what it has been capable of in the past.
Yet it still lives, despite me.
To fulfill the measure of it's creation-
That was mapped out in that tiny little seed, that sprouted so long ago.
It continues to bear fruit, the best it can, despite what it is given.
Even if, many of those healed over scars, would have probably been avoided-
If it had received a more diligent watering.

Well the same goes for my kidneys.
A few years ago, after viewing some
MRI images, my Urologist explained that there
Was a chance that I will develop kidney disease in my future.
I had a kink in a ureter, which can jam up the release paths,
That lets me let go of toxicity. AKA...to pee correctly.
Who knew that there was a wrong way, and a right way to peeing?
And that it all has to do,

With your ability to let things go?

That's a big deal.
Kidneys filter about 200 quarts of blood a day.
You know, your life giving substance.
They sift out leftover water and waste products-
That accumulate from the normal reactions from living, moving, and eating...
So that you won't die of toxicity.
Turns out, my kidneys were fine, just a kink in my path of letting go.
If kept it up, kidney disease for sure.

Also, it seems that drinking a regular diet of water,
Has not been my daily forte.
And the last couple, hot, dry months...my kidneys have been hurting.
Turns out, if you don't have enough water for
Your filter, it's like pushing sticky muck through a salt shaker.
And I felt it.
I spent the entire day Friday, foggy, cloudy, and congested.
I was exhausted, couldn't think straight, and felt painfully, awful.
My kidney ached, and no wonderful batches of urine in the Jon.

What is wrong?
Not enough water, just like my tree.
(And maybe my soul.)
Oh, so simple.

So today, I filled up a jug of water, and left it on the table.
With the intention to drink it up before the end of the day.
And I have.
And I am thinking much clearer, and feeling much improved.

The Bible says, if you drink Jesus' water,
You shall never thirst. And inside us will spring,
An everlasting well. (John 4:14)

The Book of Mormon mentions that waters can
Be a representation of the love of God.
(1 Ne 11:25)

So today, I am drinking more water, and happily peeing.
And appreciating my good, old tree.

Spirituality

what is spirituality?

“Every noble impulse, every unselfish expression of love, every brave suffering for the right; every surrender of self to something higher than self; every loyalty to an ideal; every unselfish devotion to principle; every helpfulness to humanity; every act of self-control; every fine courage of the soul, undefeated by pretense or policy, but by being, doing, and living of good for the very good’s sake—that is spirituality”

-David O. McKay’

it's a miracle! family picture.

home sweet home

Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.

~William Morris

Invictus

"Invictus" is a short Victorian poem by the English poet William Ernest Henley (1849–1903)

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

mid-life vomit.

last may, it felt as though
i dropped off the edge of the earth.
as if a simmering pinnacle of emotion...
from my entire life,
came to surface at a single point.
and hit the fan.
shooting my loose ends
all over the room like a
blast of confetti.

some call this a mid-life crisis.
possibly...10 years early.
i say,it was more of an
internal vomit.

it was the beginning of
my way of ridding myself of those things
that no longer serve me well.
or never served me well,
from the beginning.

you know, those obnoxious demons.
fear, anger, grief, judgement...okay,
and even some hypochondriasm.

pests in sheep's attire,
that really give none,
yet take all,
leaving things lifeless,
lame, or frozen.

it has been a long time since i have written.
really written.
in a journal.
or this blog.

today i am feeling it.
mainly due
to the gratitude,
of the freedom
i am experiencing.
the emancipation
the last 12 months.
and i want verbalize my appreciation.
even if only god and i hear.

i know there are many
who feel, or have felt the same way.

the mid-life vomit.

easter egg 80th.

we celebrated easter with my aunts, uncles, cousins, cousins kids, and grandparents monday. grundles of people, squealing kids, apple orchard easter egg hunt, potato salad, candy, and grandma's 80th birthday.

All Things Shall Work Together

Search diligently,
pray always,
and be believing,
and all things
shall work together
for your good..

Doctrine and Covenants 90:24

Citrus Pots

What a great idea from re-nest.com! Using lemon peels for seedlings (with a small hole poked on the bottom) and then plant them right into the ground...peel and all. Cheap. Green. Cheery.

Talking Earth

This website shows current seismic, volcanic, earthquake, extreme weather, biological hazards, fire, power outages, nuclear, and other activities all over the entire earth.
It is computer generated, and updated every 60 seconds.
So, if you wanna know what's happening...

http://hisz.rsoe.hu/alertmap/

An Old Story

A man was journeying up a mountain.
He looked around and saw others going
A different way, even
A different direction.

"Fools!" he thought, "They are going the
Wrong way."

The man kept journeying until,
Years later, he reached the top-
It was a very high mountain.
And then, he saw
Those other Fools.
They were on top of the mountain too.

Preperation

For all of us who want to be prepared for emergencies...especially in Utah-
you may like this blog.

http://www.utahpreppers.com/