mid-life vomit.

last may, it felt as though
i dropped off the edge of the earth.
as if a simmering pinnacle of emotion...
from my entire life,
came to surface at a single point.
and hit the fan.
shooting my loose ends
all over the room like a
blast of confetti.

some call this a mid-life crisis.
possibly...10 years early.
i say,it was more of an
internal vomit.

it was the beginning of
my way of ridding myself of those things
that no longer serve me well.
or never served me well,
from the beginning.

you know, those obnoxious demons.
fear, anger, grief, judgement...okay,
and even some hypochondriasm.

pests in sheep's attire,
that really give none,
yet take all,
leaving things lifeless,
lame, or frozen.

it has been a long time since i have written.
really written.
in a journal.
or this blog.

today i am feeling it.
mainly due
to the gratitude,
of the freedom
i am experiencing.
the emancipation
the last 12 months.
and i want verbalize my appreciation.
even if only god and i hear.

i know there are many
who feel, or have felt the same way.

the mid-life vomit.